Motherhood- Holy guacamole

Motherhood-Holy Guacamole

 When people tell you that it's the right time to have a baby, they are talking about your body and your age, but it's not just that. It's not just the age that matters while you are planning to have a baby, it's a mix of many things. Physical health, psychic component, right perspective about life is what all needs to be in place. 

Everyone knows that being a mother is not that easy, it demands a lot, after all, you have a life to nurture, to take care of, to teach about life and it's doings. It demands selfless love- literally.

 You need to be healthy to take care of your child. Health is wealth and who so ever had said that surely knew the blessing of a healthy life. If you are not well, you cannot give your 100 percent and wearing the motherhood shoes demands a lot of running around, and most of the time it is a one-legged race and the shoes are pretty heavy ones,

It is like juggling things, and the stuff you are busy juggling is most precious and delicate, and you cannot miss out any of it, all of it is very very important.

 I read a quote somewhere "I don't want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like my husband" yes it's true. It will be you burning the nights and not expected to let the smoke out, you will have to keep it contained inside, initially, you do it but then it's not humanly possible, and some day it will just explode, fill up the air between you and your spouse and suffocate you guys unless one of you opens the window and lets the fresh air in so that you can breathe and see each other clearly again like you used to till the time the hypnotism is shaken off by a shrill baby cry and you rush again to the farthest corner of the room . It definitely is straining for the couples. 

It teaches you the intricate art of doing things with one hand because the other hand is busy holding the baby. 

Your social circles takes a toss:

 Your friend pings you; wanna grab a cup of coffee at 3.00 

You: yeah sure, oh no its baby's nap time, maybe some other time. 

Friend: Hey I was in your town, and you didn't call me up ( happened with me last week) 

You: Oh yeah, sorry, baby had a loose gut, so all I was doing was diaper change, diaper in bin, baby in cot, one more bout, then again diaper change, diaper in bin, baby in cot, one more bout, then again diaper change, diaper in cot, baby in bin....wait a second, did I say baby in bin? Aarrghhh....I am stressed out :( I hope you understand. 

Seriously when I am going out, my bag is full and loaded with baby wipes, diapers, extra clothing, baby food, water ....my stuff...I don't even know where I kept my shades, my wrist watch...phew who needs them anymore :o

 You are so tired to change into anything while going out and wearing yoga pants seems the best possible option and you have no complaints about that. Style quotient goes on a vacation :)

 Off diaper time is a warm jet of freshly brewed pee on your face, ahh! Refreshing. 

And when finally your baby is fast asleep, you are exhausted, you look like a drug addict...but then you marvel at the beauty, the innocence, the calmness on his face, your heart overflows with love, your eyes brim up with tears, you feel a lump in your throat and kiss that face and you thank God for the sweetest gift and if by any chance baby wakes up again..you are dead!! mind it...nobody should disturb a sleeping baby..

It's like that!!

What is life?

Tonight, as I write this post, I hear the clinking of the spoon in the kitchen, Akash is brewing coffee for me, It was a request from me for a cup of hot coffee... 

This clicking sound takes me far deeper in my thoughts, and I think, what is life?

It is being born

Being loved my your family

Making friends

falling in love

having to undergo heart breaks

sulking about being treated unfairly

Falling in love again

dreaming of a future

setting up  goals

working hard for achieving your goal

then realizing that not all your goals were realistic

feeling depressed

getting married

those initial years when love is in the air :)

having a baby

then everything about the baby, all the time baby baby  baby

ouch! occasional skirmishes over the baby

Well, that's what is happening in here right now ;)

My coffee is brewed and absolutely ready...I am going to gulp it down, lie in the arms of my sweetheart, close my eyes, and stop the tape that is playing out in my head, that says, "what is life? :)

Good night!!

The day I chose to "Just be" Myself

It seemed as if a bunch of stray cats had barged in my house and ransacked everything. There were toys all the floor, a tea cup lying on the table, spilled tea all over the tablecloth, some had already trickled down on the floor, pile of washed clothes that I had gathered from the cloth line were lying in a heap on the dining table as well, house was a total mess, 

It happened twice that I pulled myself together to clean everything up, but every time I tried doing so, Vihaan would come and scatter toys all over again and then run towards the farthest end of the room,  it seemed to me as if he was enjoying all of it, he had sensed my distress and was trying to be funny, maybe to cheer me up...I left everything there as it is and curled myself up on our pistachio green couch, just like a ball of fur, I lay there motionless....there was an invisible compulsive thread that seemed to pull my feet forward, trying to make me stand again and clear the mess, but a more strong, invincible thread pulled my back more deeper into the couch, not letting me go. 

That's when I simply, chose to just be, let things be the way they are, toys all over, spilled tea on the floor, and the heap of clothes on the table, I called Vihaan and the little one just came running towards me with full of energy....we both lay there playing our favourite game, "This little  piggy"

Sometimes it just feels great to not take the load of everything around, and sometimes "messy people are the happy  people "

161-186/365 and life lately

161-186/365

I don't know from where to start, It has been a whole month and I haven't blogged, haven't clicked many pictures, life has happened pretty fast here!!

Firstly, My little boy has started his day care for an hour, yes!! he spends an hour without me at his day care, an hour!! Ahh!! when I say that, I feel a little sink in my heart, a flutter, how that happened, how we both transitioned, and how nicely both of us are doing it!!  You enjoy being there, initially you did cry and so did I, silently behind the locked door in the corridor, we both felt a piece of our heart being taken away, but then soon things turned around, that tells me ,you are my big beaming boy and I am your strong mamma , God bless you.

secondly, I am back to work again :)    .....yes!! and that's the reason why I am not getting to blog lately, I will figure out how to run the show, how to manage my time effectively so that everything gets due attention but for now I am struggling to find time to click pictures and blog, and it breaks my heart a tiny bit, we both were doing a great job of capturing our precious, loving moments, Trust me we will bounce back soon, pretty soon, till then please bear with me !!

Homemade Eucalyptus Balm

 Homemade Eucalyptus Balm

Past 3 days were hard on us…Vihaan was not well and you know what happens when your baby is unwell... you have to deal with  everything…from baby's health to whole household chores…. So in this process of managing everything I lost the balance somewhere…and one night I just broke down…I cried…I had wrist pain and headache and Vihaan was not ready to sleep, he wanted to be in my arms…he wanted to sleep in my lap and I had no energy left…I cried for being too incompetent to manage all this…I felt too self-centred to cater to the need of my little sick baby… anyhow the night passed and the day dawned…in the morning I looked like a drug addict…with half closed eyes…dizzy... frail me…in lot of pain...and my little one looking upto me for understanding him...for caring for him...for comforting him... Akash had to come early from his office... and vihaan was with him...under his care for the rest of the day...somehow we managed...and the day passed as well… that's what happened in the past two days.

Today I felt a little better and so did Vihaan... I felt back in action, and I made an eucalyptus balm at home…eucalyptus helps to relieve  the symptoms of cold, sinusitis and flu...

I am little freak when it comes to using the available medications for children to treat few common seasonal ailments…that’s why I home made this balm…it wasn't that easy, I spent a lot of time studying about the best available essential oil manufactures in India, then about the natural beeswax…and after a lot of brainstorming and going through a lot of online reviews…I got this eucalyptus essential oil from Soul flower… as we cannot use the essential oil directly to the skin, I had to search for the best carrier oil available…I choose Jojoba cold pressed oil…

And here I am with my homemade balm for my little one…not only Vihaan but all three us can use it (I did a patch sensitivity test before the application of the balm) and I can’t tell you how happy I am with this little creation of mine…

Next on my list is a luscious Lip moisturizing balm and homemade natural soaps  :)

Lesson learned Over the cup of spilled tea!!

Today both of us (Vihaan and I) were in the kitchen, I was busy making my tea and Vihaan as usual was keeping me company….Even though I try my best to pay full attention to Vihaan, I also try to finish up a multitude of things that are pending …and today in all this mess I kept my steaming hot cup just on the edge of the kitchen counter and I went to check on the washing machine and in the fraction of a second Vihaan got hold of the cup and before I could stop him the tea came pouring down  on his hand and arm…he cried… I caught hold of him, took him to the washroom and immersed his arm in the water…

Thankfully it was not severe…it took him 10 minutes to come out of it…he was okay and he  forgot what had just happened… he forgot... and he forgave me…for not being mentally present, for messing up…he forgave me…even though he was truly hurt…he forgave me easily…perhaps he knew that this hurt was small and is going to heal with time… I was feeling guilty...I was in unrest but my little boy was calm, composed and he resumed playing, he gave me smile...and I thought how  bigger heart this boy of mine has!! Probably bigger than me!! Because I know I am not that forgiving !!

 How difficult we grown-ups find it to forgive someone and how easily kids do it!!

It was a lesson learned…to let go of the hurt because it is going to heal with time anyway.. if there is something that we should hold on to, then its Love, faith and forgiveness!!

38/365 and Mother's Day celebration!!

38/365

We had a great motherhood celebration here, it was fun, photos, giggles and lots of running around!! 

I did a mother’s day photo shoot with some of my Mommy friends and their adorable babies, will upload pics soon!!

Thanks to akash for this great idea of photo shoot, it was his suggestion that i should do something with my friends today and here I am with the wonderful pictures!!

Two proud Mommy’s J

Photography credit for some of the pictures goes to a wonderful mommy "Ayesha"!!

Mother's day, an awakening and a surprise!!

Being a mother is...

Well it's more than words can explain...I don't know how to put it in words....I  wish i could get into the time machine and go to my yesteryear's and be little more sensible..I wish I could see the world through the eyes of my mother at that stage in life and I wish I could understand what she meant and felt when I made silly mistakes. ..when I was unnecessary rude to her for trivial things...I wish I could change that...but I can't, it's too late in life...but I can tell her now that I love her and genuinely understand what a "mother"  is and I appreciate everything that she has done for me !!

My Mother day gift to my Mother and Mother in law was a  surprise "prepaid mobile recharge" with full talk time  for both of them :)  ...and I know from the conversation that i had with them,  they were bit surprised and also happy at the same time...I have never done anything before on the mother's day, (I know..sounds so rude, but it's true) ...so it came as a total surprise...well It's just the beginning, an awakening for me and I will definitely continue this tradition!!

Sharing a message, straight from the heart…

The template is from Textcutie and quote is mine!!

Today-liberated me

When I woke up this morning ,I felt better...much lighter..and like any other usual morning my mind was up and It had already made a to-do list for the day ahead, and was in a planning mode, on the execution, while I was still wrapped up in my sheets...Even though my Mind was already on the working mode, body was not ready to get up and get going, it was asking for a snooze button, for 5 more minutes...so i listened to my body.

My thoughts drifted to my last night's post, "feeling lost", I know it was all complains...but then again, i have to be honest to my space here...it has to be real me, and I must confess I too have my weak moments...i too go down hill some days...become too self centered at times... but then It's not in my fiber to be like that for long...I vent out, I complain and I move on...

 I am learning, learning to have a bigger heart...learning to accept things gracefully, learning to let go easily..to not focus on "I" all the time, rather on "us", it's like playing Hopscotch square, You hop from square to square tossing the stone without touching the boundaries and if you do so, you are out, you loose it...

Similarly At times you lose your patience while dealing with day to day issues and when you do so, you break down, but then you should not stop just there, you should try again, yearn for a better performance next time without losing your patience!!

That's me...honest me...and today -liberated me :)

Around here

Around here...

 I feel little woozy, ever since we returned from Jammu, Vihaan has become even more clingy...I guess he thinks that people disappear just like that...he had a lot of folks around in Jammu and the overnight change has left him bit confused...may be that's why he wants me to be around him all the time...may be he thinks that I too will disappear!! and this leaves me even more exhausted by the end of the day!!

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I seem to be losing my calm easily...I feel like a kite soaring higher in the unknown territories...and i fear!! I fear what if the thread is weak...what if wind blows me away..what if I get caught up in the branches of a tall tree...what if I fell to the ground...will I be able to fly again!! 

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Nights!! they are as usual...sleepless!! I would love if "Ratri" "The sleep goddess" would come and pay me a visit at night... I would hold her...hug her tight...if I knew how to...I would invoke, summon her through the hymns...I would offer her ghee laddu's, and lit a lamp in her honor every night!!

I am Thankful :)

You are a beautiful thing my precious, you are my part, born out of my flesh and bones, my essence, you have the best of us, me & your father.  

I see you and I crumble like a freshly baked cookie,

I melt like butter in a pan, I dissolve like a drop of ink in the water jar, I diffuse like lemony scent in the air.

 I feel delighted, I feel elated, I tell myself "Such a beautiful thing we made out of love"...

I see you smile & I feel as if I seen a rainbow after a storm.I see you giggling & I feel as if hundred of wind chimes are dancing with the early morning breeze.

When you get hurt I feel a flutter in my heart.

You are pure joy in our life!!

I am thankful for being your mother.

PS: I have been creating these "Thankful" graphics with the help of Photofy, today I used TextCutie as well.