Friday, January 30, 2015

This feeling...



Something inside me melts everytime I see vihaan playing, something inside me rocks me when I see him talking to himself, making loud sounds, something inside me is making me more humble and more forgiving & all this is because of my little boy.

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What am I to him?? I have asked this question to myself God knows how many times...I don't know exactly and I know sometime later I will have the opportunity to ask Vihaan, when he will be able to understand my question,  but may be then I will choose not to ask him...It's now I need to know not later when he grows up. Whatever I say right now, I know I mean a lot to this tiny being right now and this thought ignites the fire inside me, keeps me going on.

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It was midday, Vihaan was sleeping by my side while I was changing few settings of my camera, he shook up suddenly from his sleep as if he had a real bad dream, he looked for me, he held my hand and he slept again after studying my face for few seconds. I was moved deeply...his trust on me is unfathomable, it's profound. This feeling fills me with mixed emotions, fills me with joy, with marvel, with bafflement and also to admit with little trepidity.

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Isn't this strange, we all have been through this phase once in our life, where our mother was greatest comfort for us, when even her slightest touch, her mere presence used to be everything that we ever needed, when she was our entire world.

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I think about all this...fleeting moment, as the window curtain moves with a puff of vesper, as the fleeting sunlight is casting the shadow, as it lightens the dark room for the last time for the day, before the darkness sets in .

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